


what are you fighting for?

by Totsietilly



Category: Black Widow (Movie 2020), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:15:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28656327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totsietilly/pseuds/Totsietilly
Summary: Diana Abdulov's parents were killed in a terrorist event in 1987, when she was 3. 21 years later, and all Diana wants is to forget the previous 24 years of her life, but sometimes its not that easy.





	1. its not what I'm fighting for, its what I'm fighting against

I need to stop this. 

I look around me, watching the chaos I caused, convincing myself I'm some sort of hero, but I'm no such thing.

I'm a monster, and that was not what I was raised to be. 

After I left the Red Room, I had no life. I didn't exist - not really. I studied for a while, finished higher education, did as much as I could with the money I had, but that quickly ran dry. I soon realized that I wasn't going to be anything but who they created, so I returned to the life they created for me, putting myself up as someone who could be hired to kill, no questions asked, whether it seemed right or wrong was not even a factor. I couldn't live without the next target, it had become my life. I guess it had always been my life, ever since my parents died and I got taken in by the KGB.

I was trained in exactly the same place as Natalia Romanoff, or as you would know her, Natasha, or The Black Widow. I actually met her a few times - not that she'd remember me, I was always the quiet kid in the corner, nose in a physics book - we overlapped in our training. we probably should have been trained together more, but she climbed in skill so fast that she was trained with the older kids instead of the ones her age, the only time we worked together was around the time of graduation, when she kept deliberately failing so she wouldn't have to kill the man.

There was not a seconds hesitation when I did it.

All the hits I've done have been the same, no hesitation, no second thought, right up until this one. I've killed hundreds already this morning, but surprisingly the thing that stopped me was a small girl, clinging to the frail form of her grandmother, begging me to shoot her instead. this girl can't be older than 4 or 5, her eyes filled with terror and surprisingly defiance, like she knows exactly what is happening. I have no clue what to do, but al I know is that it is wrong to kill this girl, and for once that matters to me. that is when I make the worst choice I could in that situation - I leave, leaving witnesses. SHIELD or the Avengers will be here in no time, they've always shown up sooner or later, and this girl saw me, yet thats not what I'm focusing on as I run out of the building, what I'm thinking is only 'what have I become?'

The whole of my training, I felt I was training for something, that I would live to protect someone, to fight for my country. but this isn't that, this is me killing just to kill, killing for money, for personal gain. I feel sick as I get the notification to say the money has made it into my account, the $500 000 gleaming out of the screen, as if its mocking me. perhaps it is. 

I fall back on my bed, my mind completely blank as I remove my gun and my knives, placing them on my bedside table before slipping out of my outfit, stepping into the cold trickle of water from my shower. I quickly wash myself, my eyes dancing around my room to evaluate my life. Maybe its time I start anew, maybe its time I forget my past, make something of my future. I need to grow up now.

I open the long forgotten draw of my physics equipment, taking the time to set up my telescope, even making sure I clean all the lenses properly. I pull out my notebooks, glancing over my most recent work. I dot between most areas of physics, all of it holding an interest for me. I spend most of my time practicing Astrophysics and Engineering, just because I enjoy having something to do with my hands, but I do sometimes dip into theoretical physics when I'm looking for a change. I glance over my qualifications, the nine GCSE's with the nearly perfect grades stated next to them and the four A levels, again perfect scores. that was where my money ran out.

I moved to Chicago, then New York City, the jobs paying better in America than Russia. and I guess thats where you find me now, in some cheap apartment, not even sure who I am. I slip under the covers on my bed, drifting off into a restless sleep as I ponder the coming day.

the next day is spend searching for jobs, putting my name in the hat for countless jobs, ranging from Lab rat, to receptionist, even to PA for the Avengers. I got turned down by them all, one by one. No I'm realizing why I went into doing what I did - no one will take a scientist if they haven't even been to university. especially if the only record of them is a birth certificate and the proof of my grades, just a blank Russian name. My personal statement is blank too - not exactly having any life skills I can write down. Its not exactly like I can say _oh yeah I'm dedicated because I killed countless innocent people, even some friends, as a young kid._ I'm sure that'd go down really well with SHIELD.

the one thing that came back the next day is an interview offer from SHIELD, a job in their lab. I sigh, laying back with a grin on my face. I got a job interview. Even if its just a small chance to turn things around, its still a chance, and I'll take it. 

The next morning I'm sat in a fancy lobby, high ceilings and skylights. 11 other candidates sit around me, my new formal blouse and dress trousers nipping at my skin awkwardly. How do people even deal with wearing this stuff? Around me the other candidates show clear signs of nervousness, a brunette is bouncing her knee, another biting her nails, a blonde haired girl chewing on her lip, the flesh turning red under her teeth. I just run a hand through my curly brown hair, and distract myself by surveying the situation. it always helps to calm me anyways, and I'm going to take every leg up I can get here. Theres 2 guards at the door - full body armor and semi automatics clutched in their hands, 4 more guards, kitted out the same, loitering around the place. Its heavily guarded, suggesting that maybe someones tried to attack here before, and the guards are standing perfectly still and upright, suggesting some good training. The 3 ladies sat at the desk are smiley and made up - perfect nails, tight dresses, lightly curled hair. The furniture is sparse, but it seems brand new, obviously expensive, probably cleaned regularly to stop it seeming aged. Its not the only pristine thing in here - the marble floors shining, the glass ceiling without a scratch, even the people don't a single hair out of place. talking about the people, everything seems to be working like a well oiled clock - complex, yet without fault, running smoothly and quietly.

A soft voice calling my name snaps me out of my focus, and I look up to see one of the ladies from the desk. "Mr Fury will be seeing you now, Miss Abdulov." she tells me with a smile as I stand, straightening out my trousers before following her wordlessly. "ah, Miss Abdulov, is it?" A man asks, standing up and holding his hand out. "Nick Fury, director of SHIELD." he introduces himself as I shake his hand. "Its nice to meet you Mr Fury. I'm surprised that this is something the Director is concerning himself with, but it is a nice touch." I complement him with a smile, sitting down in the chair. "well, I like to make sure I trust everyone I let in here. can't be to careful." he explains, taking the seat opposite me.

"so you were a bit of an interesting case, barely any records of your existence." he tells me, looking down at a notepad. "Well all I've done with my life so far is study Physics - I ran out of money so couldn't go to university, but I have done my own studying and developed my knowledge." I explain with a smile, sitting up straight. "Yes, A* in Physics and Maths, A in Music and computing for A levels, very impressive, I had hoped you had developed your knowledge further." he tells me, returning my smile. I just nod, a tight smile on my lips. "so why did you go for this job?" he asks, his eyes back on the paper. "I was feeling that what I was doing with my life was a waste, I was just working in some corner shop, and I wanted to do something - more." I explain, watching as he nods slightly. 

"Diana Abdulov, I assume you're Russian?" he asks, looking up at me. "my father was, my mother was American, I have never lived in Russia." I lie. I actually have no clue about my parents, I don't remember them and I have no names for them. "oh okay, I can hear the slight twinge of a Russian accent in your voice." he tells me, his eyes filled with interest. "yes, I got it off of my dad." I tell him, the lies falling flawlessly without hesitation - I guess my training is coming in useful here too.

"so what do you want to gain from this?" he asks, folding his hands together. "well if all goes well - a job, something I can develop and use to do some good, and if things go badly, then some experience with interviews." I tell him with a smile, crossing my ankles under the table. Fury nods once, smiling back at me. "you feel like you don't do good at the moment?" he asks, looking into my eyes. "I don't do bad, but I could be doing better." I say with a nod, linking my fingers together. "well, things look good from this end, we'll be contacting you on the number you provided if we want to conduct a second meeting with you. It was nice meeting you, Miss Abdulov." he says, standing up and holding his hand out. "you too, Mr Fury, thank you for giving me a chance." I reply with a smile, shaking his hand before leaving. I sign out at the desk, the lady offering me a smile which I quickly return, before heading back to my apartment, pulling out a notebook and sketching down some ideas.

It was 3 days later when I get the call, my feet slipping as I dash out of the shower, grabbing at the small device. "hello?" I ask, slightly breathless. "Hello, Miss Abdulov, this is a representative of SHIELD." a female voice informs me. "ah yes." I reply, wrapping a towel around my body after putting it on speaker phone. "we are glad to inform you that you have been invited for a second interview, this being the last one as there is only 1 other candidate that made it through to this level. Is this afternoon okay with you?" they ask, a slight grin on my face. "yes, that is perfect." I respond, turning off speaker mode again. "brilliant. we will see you at 3:15 then?" she asks, her crisp voice breaking up slightly with a bad connection. "yes, thats great. see you then." I tell her, hanging up and placing the phone back on my bed. its currently 12:42, leaving me a few hours. 

I'm soon standing outside the familiar building, the SHIELD logo hung on the side of the giant structure. "Hi I'm Diana Abdulov, I'm here for an interview?" I tell the lady at the desk, my voice quiet. "ah yes, right this way, miss Abdulov." she tells me, standing up and leading me into a room. "Miss Abdulov, thank you for coming." Fury greets me, shaking my hand and placing his other on my shoulder. "Thank you for putting me through, Mr Fury." I say with a smile, letting go of his hand. "so I was thinking today we could take a walk, visit the labs and I am aware that Tony Stark and Bruce Banner are interested in meeting you." he tells me with a light smile. "really? the Avengers want to meet me, even though I'm just the new lab rat?" I question him, raising an eyebrow. "we are very selective with who works here, most of our scientists are assigned to work at different facilities, so its quite a big deal when someone starts working here. you will probably be working with the Avengers sometimes, so its important you meet them." he tells me, holding the door open for me.

"so where is it that you live?" he asks as we walk through the near empty lobby, his words echoing around the room. "about a 15 minute walk away, in an apartment block." I tell him with a nod, straightening out my jacket. "okay, so this is where you will be working if you get the job. all the equipment is free for you to use, and every Monday we send out an order for the lab, any materials you require are provided for free via this service." he tells me as I walk through the spacious lab, A few scientists in sterile coats smiling at me. "so what are the majority in the scientists working here?" I ask Fury, glancing around to try and pinpoint certain fields on each person. "Mainly Biochemists, you will probably be the only Physicist working here most of the time, as we are so close to Tony Stark here." he explains as I nod. I introduce myself to a few people, their names sticking to the back of my mind as I talk to each person.

"so the other candidate's interview was this morning, so we are hosting a dinner tonight where you will both meet the Avengers, as they are busy today." Fury tells me as we reenter the conference room. "okay, where will that be held?" I ask, sitting down. "the Avengers tower, starting at 7:00pm." he tells me, sorting through some papers. "okay then, I'll see you tonight then, Mr Fury." I say, shaking his hand. "yes, see you later." he replies, and I quickly leave the building. 

I head straight to a dress shop, quickly realizing I have no outfit for tonight. "can I help you?" the receptionist asks as I step into the shop, dresses lining every wall. "I've got a dinner tonight as part of an interview so I'm just after an outfit for that." the lady nods, obviously not too interested. "okay, call me if you need anything." she mutters, returning to her computer. I spend the next hour flicking through dress after dress, a few catching my attention so I slip into the changing room, them either being too tight, or just the wrong shape for me. I finally find the dress I like though - the dark blue material clinging onto my chest before flaring out at my waist, the hem brushing lightly against my thighs. the neckline is modest, a black lace covering the chest area of the dress, the dark blue making it nearly invisible. I smile, picking out a matching pair of heels before paying for the outfit, cringing slightly at the price. I can afford it, but that is a little pricy for a dress. I quickly head home, getting a quick shower before slipping back into the dress, applying a bit of makeup and throwing on my leather jacket and heading out. 

"The Avengers Tower, please." I tell the taxi driver as I slip into the car, buckling up the seatbelt. "oo, got a fancy dinner tonight?" he asks, looking up into the mirror. "an interview, actually, for SHIELD." I tell him, glancing out of the window. I have to say - I am a little nervous now. The avengers - especially Natasha - are going to be very suspicious of me. Fury took a leap of faith with me, and I have a feeling the Avengers won't be so quick to accept me. I hand the driver the money as I slip out of the taxi, mumbling "keep the change." as I shut the door, knocking tentatively on the door. "miss Abdulov?" A voice asks, making me jump. "yes, I am here for the interview dinner." I explain, flattening my palms against my thighs. "I am JARVIS, an AI created by Tony Stark. the Avengers and Mr Fury are waiting upstairs, the other candidate is yet to arrive." the voice explains as the door opens. I tentatively step in, walking up the glass stairs and into a spacious room, the Avengers all sat around a table, all dressed in suits. 

"ah miss Abdulov, welcome." Fury greets me, shaking my hand. "Mr Fury. thanks for the invite." I say with a smile, following him over to the table and slipping into the seat he gestures to. "everyone, this is Diana Abdulov, the candidate I told you about." He explains, everyone sending me a smile. "of course, Mr Fury has told us much about you." Bruce starts, sending me a soft smile. "oh? all good I hope?" I reply with a grin. "naturally." Fury replies, smiling softly. "so Miss Abdulov, what area of Physics do you specialize in?" Tony asks me, leaving forward onto his elbows. "mainly Astrophysics and Engineering, but I dot around with most areas. Feel free to call me Diana, I'm not that important." I tell him with a polite smile. "oh perfect, I'm trying to make Steve's shield so it'll come back to him, but I just can't get it right." he tells me, producing a tablet from seemingly nowhere. "really? thats cool. I would probably use iron as the core for my electromagnet, your problem is that it remains slightly magnetic, right?" I ask, glancing down at the specs. "yep, thanks thats brilliant, I didn't think of that." He says with a smile, making the changes to his drafts. "I like her." Tony says, nodding to Fury.

"Mr Fury, Miss Clarke has arrived." JARVIS announces, a few moments later the blonde girl who was biting her lip in the waiting room walks through the door, her bright red dress not leaving much to the imagination. "Mr Fury, what a pleasure to see you again." she greets him, taking her seat across the table from me. "hi, I'm Diana Abdulov." I greet her with a smile, running my hand through my hair to brush it out of my eyes. "Sarah Clarke, Biochemistry." she smiles back, her blonde hair moving like water with her head. "oh cool, I'm physics." I say with a nod. 

2 waiters bring our food out, placing a plate of pate and bread in front of me. I smile up at him, this being my absolute favourite starter. "oh my god, is this a perm or does your hair naturally do this?" Clint asks from his seat beside me after we all finish eating, his finger poking through the center of one of the ringlets in my hair. "it does that naturally." I say with a laugh, grinning up at the man. "that is amazing." he mumbles, smiling as he continues to play with the ringlets. "Clint, please stop terrorizing the poor girl." Natasha says, sliding into the seat beside him. The Avengers have been changing seats often, each wanting to get the chance to talk to us indervidually. "Hi, I'm Natasha Romanoff." she greets me, shaking my hand and swatting away Clint's. "Diana." I laugh, smiling up at her. "you have a Russian last name and a slight Russian accent, where did you grow up?" she asks with interest, letting go of my hand. "Queens. my dad was Russian." I lie again, watching as she nods. "you got that much of an accent just off your dad?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at me. I simply nod, taking a sip of my water as she smiles, letting the topic drop. 

"so Sarah, do you have any hobbies?" Fury asks, all our conversations dropping away. "I actually have a beauty and ASMR channel on youtube, so I guess you can call that a hobby, I also go swimming a lot. I was state champion in the swimming gala back when I was 16." she brags, making me have to resist the urge to roll my eyes. wow _state champion in the swimming gala???_ She seems to think thats some huge achievement, breaking off to talk to Fury about it. 

"how about you, Diana?" Fury asks, finally managing to escape Sarah's bragging. "well I have my telescope, so Astronomy, I also enjoy drawing and music." I tell him with a polite smile. "oh really? do you play any instruments?" he asks, Sarah looking slightly annoyed that her achievements are out of the spotlight. "uh- piano, drums, guitar, bass guitar." I say quickly, taking a sip of my water, the Avengers nodding, looking impressed. "isn't the drums quite easy to learn?" Sarah asks, raising an eyebrow. so you're playing that game now? well I'm not going to rise to your level. "no for me it was one of the harder things to learn. I found Bass to be the easiest, actually, as I knew the basics of guitar when I was learning it." I tell her, smiling sweetly at her. "god, I can remember when I was a kid, I joined a band." Natasha laughs, the conversations breaking off again.

"oh really? what did you play?" I ask, leaning back on my chair. "oh I sung actually. it was goin quite well, until - I- well until I had to kill my guitarist I guess." she mutters, trailing off slightly, shame in her face. Clint places a subtle hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." I say quietly, a bit unsure what to say. "its fine, it was my fault, I deserve to feel shameful of what I did." she tells me, smiling. "you don't. what you did wasn't your decision, and you've more than made up for it with all the good you've done here." I tell her, glancing around the table to see everyone interested in our conversation. 

"anyway, that was my past, lets not dwell on it. how about your childhood?" she asks, changing the topic. "uh- my childhood was very average, I was the quiet kid with the book." I say with a laugh, the waiters coming in to take away our empty plates after a lovely steak dinner. "well I can see that paid off, I saw your grades. why didn't you end up going off to university?" she asks, chuckling slightly at my words. "I ran out of money." I reply simply. "your parents didn't help?" she asks, raising her eyebrows. Clint moved away a while ago, opting to talk to the other girl for a while. "no.. I stopped hearing from my parents after I moved out." I lie, worrying about how complex this lie could become. "oh thats sad. what did you do then?" she asks, tucking a leg underneath her. "I got an apartment and a job in a corner shop." I tell her, keeping the details simple. "well I'm slightly glad you didn't go to university, in a way, otherwise you wouldn't have ended up here." she says with a grin. "yeah, I got turned down by everywhere because of- oh!" I stop in the middle of my words, a sharp pain going through my shin. I look down, my leg covered in blood, a black bullet hole through the side of my leg. "uh- everyone needs to get out of sight of the window, theres a shooter." I say calmly, everyone jumping into action. 


	2. the web of lies

"STEVE IN THE TREELINE!" Tony shouts, throwing Steve his shield as the iron man suit engulfs him. "take this and stay down." Steve tells me, handing me a handgun, before running out from behind the counter where we both ended up. I look down at my leg, glad to see the bullet went through the flesh. "how bad is it?" Bruce asks me, quickly running to my side. "its fine, just went through the flesh. bullet went in and out." I tell him with a smile. "go, I'm fine." I tell him, his brow furrowing before he shakes his head, standing up and turning green, running off as the Hulk. I reach up and grab a paper towel off the side, pressing it to the wound and using another to wipe up the mess of blood. I throw away the paper towels, the wound already seeping blood again. I wince as I get to my feet, freezing when I realize I can't exactly go down and help. I catch a glimpse of Sarah running away, and I roll my eyes. I check my gun, seeing it is fully loaded before waiting by the door. The gunman slowly walks in, a grin on his face when he sees me. "you didn't finish my job." he tells me with a grin, my eyes widening. "how did you find me, I didn't use names." I tell him, pushing away from the wall. "I was there, I saw your face." he tells me simply, holding the gun out to me. 

I quickly duck, my leg kicking up to get the gun out of his grasp, wincing as I land on my bad leg. "You tell them and I'll kill you." I whisper as I hear the Avengers run in, and I quickly lean on my good leg, putting a scared face on. Tony quickly handcuffs the man. "you will rot in jail for that." he tells him cheerily. "cut off one head, 2 more grow in its place." he says, crunching down on something and going limp, his mouth foaming up. "FUCK!" Tony yells, patting his cheek. "Cyanide. Standard Hydra." Steve tells him, his jaw clenched. 

"how did you get his gun?" Natasha asks, pointing to the gun in my hand. "he let down his guard because I am hurt, tried to make a move on me so I grabbed it." I tell her, handing her the gun carefully. "Steve. thank you for letting me borrow this." I tell him, turning the gun back on to safety and handing it back to him. "no problem, glad you're okay." he says, placing his Shield down. "okay Miss Abdulov, I think this means you've got the job." Fury says, shaking my hand. everyone cheers as I grin, shaking his hand. "Thank you, Mr Fury." I grin, letting go of his hand. "well we know you deal well with stress." he says with a grin, motioning to the empty seat where Sarah was sat with a laugh. I chuckle, glancing over everyone. Tony looks happy, Natasha looks mildly impressed, much like Clint, Steve looks slightly confused, and maybe a bit suspicious of me, which does make me go slightly cold with worry, and Bruce just looks concerned. 

"Do you want to stay the night in our guest room? its very late and I don't really want you going too far on your own with a hole through your leg." Steve asks, looking down at my shin. "If you'd prefer to stay in your own place I'd happily drive you, but I will insist we visit the hospital to get you stitched up." Fury adds as an alternative, everyone suddenly seeming very concerned about my leg. "thank you for the offer, but I'm honestly fine, I can deal with it on my own. I've been through worse." I say with a laugh, remembering some of the situations I've been left with over the years. compared to them, this is a light scratch. "when?" Tony asks, his brow furrowed. "oh just an accident prone child. I once fell over and impaled myself on a metal rod, so this is fine." I brush off quickly, hobbling over to grab my jacket. 

"really, stay, its no sweat of our backs. we'll all feel a little better if you did stay, and I can stitch up your leg for you." Bruce tells me, stepping between me and the door. "okay, thank you, thats a very generous offer." I say with a polite smile, nodding slightly. "okay, I'll be off then. hope your leg feels better soon." Fury tells me with a hand on my shoulder, before leaving swiftly. "Come on, I'll show you to the spare room." Nat offers, wrapping an arm around my waist to take my weight. "you're surprisingly good at dealing with pain. isn't it bothering you?" she asks, frowning at the hole in my leg, blood seeping slowly out of it. "yeah it bloody hurts to be honest, but I'm good at compartmentalizing. always have been." I say with a nervous laugh. "wow, an assassins best trait." she says with a laugh, her words a phrase a lady from the red room used to chant at us. don't show weakness, it'll be your best trait one day, your best weapon. 

"thanks Natasha." I say, wincing slightly as I land ungracefully on the bed. "I have some clothes you can borrow, I'll also go and get Bruce. see you in a moment." she says, leaving the room, her footsteps feather light. being around her doesn't make me as nervous as I thought it would - its slightly comforting even. I naturally find myself constantly picking things out, commenting in my head at what she does well. its easy to see why she is still regarded as one of the best to come out of the red room. "Hiya." Bruce greets me quietly, sitting down in front of me and opening a box, pulling on a pair of rubber gloves. Natasha quietly walks in and sits down on the chair in the corner of my room, a pile of clothes in her hands. 

"okay you should probably get this looked at in a hospital." Bruce tells me, looking up. "please, I really don't need to go to a hospital." I say with a sigh, running a hand through my hair. "I'll do what I can, It'll heal, but it could get infected." he warns me, a slightly apprehensive look on his face. "yeah I know, I just can never be bothered with hospitals." I tell him with a smile, watching as he pulls different items out of his box. "whats so bad about hospitals?" Natasha asks, now sitting backwards on the chair so she can rest her head on top of her forearms, which are weaved over the back of the chair. "ah they just tend to- tss- get a bit suspicious about the whole Russian girl with no other details thing." I tell her, flinching as Bruce cleans the wound. I'm deliberately playing up the pain a little, reacting slightly dramatically to make them skip over any worries. "sorry." Bruce mutters, smiling up at me. "yeah I get that, it can be hard to escape that image. why don't you have any records, by the way?" she asks, trying to distract me from the tugging at my shin. "while I was with my parents I didn't really do anything too extraordinary, I was just a nerdy kid who never went outside, then when I moved out I didn't have the money to do anything." I explain vaguely, instead watching Bruce's quick movements. 

"okay you're all stitched up, let me just clean you up and wrap it up." he tells me, ripping open another wipe. "thanks for that Bruce, its much easier to have someone who actually knows what they're doing sort me out." I say with a laugh, watching as he carefully wraps the bandage around the site. "come and find us if you need us, here are some clothes." Natasha says, standing up and placing the pile next to me. "thanks." I say with a smile, moving my leg out the way so Bruce can pack up. "you're going to hate me, but you'll need to use crutches so you don't rip the stiches out." Bruce tells me with a grin, placing a pair of crutches next to me. I roll my eyes at the grey objects, before smiling at Bruce. "thanks Bruce, I'll see you both tomorrow." I say, waving to them as they shut my door. I gently pull my dress off, throwing it so it lands over the chair, quickly followed by the remnants of my tights, one of the legs completely cut off by Bruce. I slip into the loose grey t shirt and black shorts Natasha had picked out for me, before turning off the lights and crawling under the covers, letting my eyes slip shut. 

I wake up to a semi dark room, the alarm clock in the corner telling me its 6am. I sigh, pulling myself out of bed and grabbing the crutches, grumbling as I make my way out of my room in search of coffee. I don't want to get on Bruce's bad side already, but I really fucking hate crutches. The lights flick on automatically as I enter the kitchen, me quickly making my way to the coffee maker and brewing a pot, pouring myself a cup. I sometimes wake up this early, not feeling tired anymore. I've never been the best sleeper, so instead I spend some nights researching, or doing missions, or working out. now I'm sat on a barstool, the cup of coffee in my hands as I wonder if I should just leave. is it strange that I'm still here?

My thoughts are interrupted as a rather sweaty Steve Rogers opens the door, his tight white T shirt clinging to his chest with the moisture. "oh- hi. how's the leg holding up?" he asks, resting a hand on the kitchen counter as he pours himself a glass of water, downing it before pouring another. "its fine, can barely feel it. why are you up so early?" I ask, smiling politely. "I used to have to get up this early when I was a soldier, and also I couldn't sleep, so I went for a run to pass the time." he explains. "I should probably go and get a shower - see you later Diana." he walks towards the bedrooms, a door opening quietly before shutting again. "you know it was like 10 and we were all asleep? no wonder we're all awake at 7 bloody am!" I hear Clint shout, making his way into the kitchen. 

"oh my goddd whoever made coffee, I love you so much.." he mumbles, pouring out cups for everyone. Tony follows soon after, Natasha quietly sneaking in behind him and joining me at the island. "its a bit soon, but I'm sure I'll grow to love you too, Hawkeye." I reply with a grin, him obviously not having noticed me. He turns around in shock, a hand on his chest. "my god, are you a ghost? how long have you been down here?" he asks, leaning against the counter and breathing dramatically. "about an hour." I say casually. "whoa, don't take this the wrong way, but you have overly muscly thighs. that is impressive for a scientist..." Tony says, prodding at my legs. I laugh lightly, them all seeming a little loopy with sleep. "why thank you? I used to dance a lot." I say with a shrug. "really? me too, among other things. what type?" Natasha asks, her eyes lighting up slightly. "ballet." I reply, taking a sip of the coffee Clint slides in front of me, mouthing thank you to him. "wow, wouldn't take you for the ballet type." she says, turning to her coffee. "I have a weird past." I say with a laugh, standing up. "I'll be off soon, thank you for letting me stay over." I say, smiling at them. "we're having a game of paintball later - if you want to you can stay and join in?" Natasha offers, standing up too. "yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun actually." I say before I can think too much about it, surprising myself with how quickly I've opened up to them. 

"you look slightly shocked? we're you not expecting yourself to speak english or something?" Tony asks, smirking at my confused expression. "oh no, I'm just not usually this good at being friendly." I say with a laugh, stretching out my back lightly. "well we are kind of forcing our friendship on you, but that is one of the joys of being liked by the Avengers." Bruce says with a laugh, me hardly noticing he was there. "come on, I'll get you some casual clothes to wear." Natasha says, walking into her room. I grin at her room, knives and guns laid out on her desk. "oh you could help me actually - I am going to clean everything today, I do it once a month and I've been putting it off." she says, motioning to the gear. "yeah I'd be happy to help." I agree with a smile, aware of how annoying it is to clean guns. 

"Ебена мать" I mutter, holding up a gun made out of some kind of glass. "you speak Russian?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at me. "a bit, my dad taught me the odd word." I tell her immediately. "oh cool. yeah that gun is kind of just as something for display, its not too god for actually shooting." she tells me, handing me a pile of clothes. "here, these should fit. sorry, my dress sense is kind of only black." She tells me with a laugh. "no problem, mine is too." I tell her, making my way back to my room. I carefully change out of my clothes, pulling on the tight ripped jeans, tucking the tight black T shirt into the waistband and slipping on the black combat boots. I admire myself for a moment in the mirror, smiling at the outfit. I usually only wear tight black clothes for missions, that mainly being leather and spandex, although I might start wearing it more often. I brush my teeth and make my way back to the kitchen area, Bruce silently holding out the crutches I left at the table with a disapproving look. I grin, taking them off him. "can't I just go with one? I really am okay." I moan, doing a little twirl to show that I'm fine on it, ignoring the slight sting that brings. "fine, but use one when you're walking around, and be careful during paintball." he tells me, trying to look scary. I just chuckle, nodding before sitting down softly on the sofa.

"ready?" Natasha asks me as she emerges from her room 10 minutes later, holding up a gun. "yep." I tell her, grinning as I stand up, making a show of grabbing my crutch and walking over to Natasha's room. "Knives are easier than guns, so I'll have you doing them if thats okay." she tells me, pulling cleaning equipment out of a drawer. "yeah thats fine." I tell her, folding myself up on the end of her bed. we chat idly as we work, it actually being quite therapeutic to do it with another person. "you could make an epic assassin, you know?" Natasha tells me at one time, grinning up at me. "is that so?" I answer quietly, pushing back my smirk. "yeah. you're so good at cleaning knives, you're light footed, muscly yet agile, you've got the sass down." she lists with a small chuckle. "I guess we'll see how you are with a gun later too." she says with a grin, picking up the next gun. I grin at her, returning to the knife in my hands. "yeah, people always say I'm too sassy for my own good, it tends to be one of the first personality traits people hit." I say with a laugh. "well thats not a bad thing - anyone who sasses Tony is a friend of mine." she says with a grin. 

"okay I think we're done! thanks for the help." Natasha says as I help her put away her equipment. "no problem, that was actually quite therapeutic." I tell her with a smile, grabbing my crutch with a huff. "we're heading out in 10, so I'm just going to get my shoes on." she tells me as I leave, sending me a smile. I nod hobbling out of the room. my phone buzzes quietly in my pocket so I slip into the spare room, pulling the small device out of my pocket.

"hello?" I say hesitantly, trying to decifer who would be calling me. "Диана Абдулова." ( _Diana Abdulov_ ) a familiar voice starts, their Russian accent ringing through my phone. "Я очень удивлен услышать от вас. у тебя есть миссия?" ( _I'm surprised to hear from you. Do you have a mission?)_ I reply, slightly enjoying a chance to use my Russian, just hating that its to talk to the person who worked with me at the Red Room. "возможно, это зависит от того, что делают другие. в основном я звоню, чтобы проверить тебя. где вы?" _(maybe, it depends on how the others do. I'm mainly just checking up on you. where are you?)_ they ask, their cold voice seeping into my bones as I naturally straighten my back. "Сейчас я живу в квартире в Нью-Йорке." _(I am currently in an apartment in New York.)_ "ах, ладно, тогда мы тебя не отправим. что ты сделал со своей жизнью?" _(ah okay, we won't be sending you in then. what have you been doing?)_ I sigh lightly, pacing around my room. 

"Некоторое время я занимаюсь оплачиваемыми хитами, я только что устроился на работу ученым." ( _I was doing paid hits for a while, but I've gotten a job as a scientist.)_ I say, turning to see Clint stood at my door. I send him a closed off look, before quickly closing my door. "вы могли бы сделать гораздо больше с помощью обучения, которое мы вам дали." _(you could do so much more with the training we gave you.)_ She says disapprovingly with a sigh. "Я знаю, у меня будет возможность использовать это здесь. позвони мне, если у тебя есть работа, но мне пора идти." _(I know, I should have the chance to use it here. call me if you have any jobs for me, but I must go now.)_ I say, ending the call quickly and pocketing my phone, sighing and running a hand through my hair.

"who were you talking to?" Clint asks as soon as I open my door, walking casually into my room. "my grandparents." I respond, crossing my arms. "unlikely. you seem tense, and I recognized the word job from Natasha's nightmares. who do you work for, Diana?" he asks, anger in his face. "myself, Clint. well now SHIELD, I guess. I don't get on well with them, and I was telling them about the new job I got." I say with a sigh. He looks at me for a moment, studying my face. "we're leaving now. come on." he tells me after a moment, his face still unsure and hesitant. "okay, thanks." I say, walking out of my room and heading for the kitchen area, making sure to plaster a smile on my face.

we make it to the paintball place, which is basically a big forest with a net around it. I pick up the paintball gun and a pack of paintballs, loading the gun up. "I helped Natasha, I'm sure you've heard. I won't tell the others and I'd help you too, just don't lie to me please. I can tell you're trained in the way you're holding that gun." Clint tells me quietly as I'm loading up. I don't reply, I just let the gun swing down at my leg. I shoot one shot swiftly into Clint's foot, him bending over in shock. "oh I'm so sorry, I didn't realise thats what that did!" I say with a laugh, bending down in front of him. "I'm a scientist, thats all you need to know me as. I'm not a threat, you don't know what you're dealing with. I'll be out of your hair shortly." I whisper to him quickly, my words laced with venom as I send him a warning look. I stand up again, laughing fakely and helping Clint to his feet, him sending me a undecipherable look.

we all run off into the forest, a loud horn announcing the fact that its time to start. I duck behind a tree, watching as Tony runs around, looking for people. I jump up into the branches, grinning as I send 3 shots, all landing on his chest. "wait- what?" he shouts, looking around as I snigger silently. I fall out of the tree, carefully slipping behind the next one before running off, quickly spotting Clint perched in a tree. he notices me instantly so I decide to have a bit of fun with him, he already knows I'm trained anyway so why not. I dodge all of his shots, carefully pulling myself into the tree and hopping through them towards him, grinning as I watch him search for me. I reach the tree right behind his, sending 4 shots to his back, forming a square. he turns to glare at me as I fall backwards, catching the branch with my foot and sending 2 pellets towards him as I hang upside down, falling and landing in a crouch. this time he dodges the shots, jumping out of his tree to join me. 

"its not really fair y'know - targeting the girl with the hole in her leg." I say with a smirk from where I'm leant up against the tree. "for some reason I don't think thats holding you back." he replies, shooting at me as I flip, dodging all his bullets and skipping away, laughing lightly, turning to send some more paint pellets at the archer. I quickly find Bruce looking slightly lost, remembering that he doesn't really have to many combat skills. "Hi Diana, here to join the club of the skill less?" he asks with a laugh. "yeah in retrospect this was a bad idea." I laugh quietly, crouching down next to him. I signal for him to run behind the next tree, quickly sending a bullet towards Tony's back. he jumps, turning to scowl at me. "you got lucky, new girl!" he shouts, sending a bullet at me as I laugh, grabbing Bruce's hand and making a run for it. "guess I'll see you around then, more Avengers to kill." I say with a grin, waving to Bruce as I leave him behind a tree. just Steve and Nat I haven't found so far. 

I go back into the treeline, knowing thats where Clint will be so he can't surprise me. I quickly find Steve looking slightly sad with a big red splotch on his back. I send another to his chest, ducking back into the depths of the tree. "wha- CLINT?" he shouts, his eyes dancing through the trees. I swing away from him, sending 3 more shots that all land on him before landing on the ground, slipping behind a tree. I feel a sharp sting in my shoulder and I look to see Clint watching me from a tree, a smirk on his face. "think this means your dead." he says with a grin, pretending to blow the smoke from his gun. "a gunshot wound has never stopped me before!" I say, running after him and quickly hopping up into the tree. "wanna tell me where you trained?" he asks me, sending another wet pellet towards me. "not really, no." I say matter of factly, another one on my bullets hitting his thigh, knocking his balance and causing him to land on his back on the ground. 

"okay, lets try this. where were you trained?" he shouts, his gun trailing me. "not gonna fall for that one!" I reply, swinging down to land in front of him, he places his gun to my forehead with a smirk and I spot Natasha running up behind him, causing me to sigh, knowing I can't fight him. Natasha sends about 10 shots into his back, grinning. "going after the untrained ones now are we?" she asks as Clint turns around. he raises an eyebrow, sending a pellet at her and hopping up into the tree. "hows your leg?" she asks me as she helps me up. "its fine, its annoying me less than Clint is." I tell her with a grin, her raising an eyebrow at me. "you and him seem to have bonded fast." she observes, crossing her arms with a slight grin. "yeah, he's very quickly became the annoying younger brother. he seems to know something about me, so he's been stalking me." I say with a laugh, turning to run off. "see you later, Nat!" I shout, ducking behind a tree. I scale it, sending 3 shots at the assassin which she easily dodges. "not that easy to get Barton!" she shouts, a laugh falling from my lips. "wasn't me." he says, dropping down behind her, a confused look on her face. Fuck you, Clint. "oh- it was probably Steve then." she laughs, shooting Clint before running off. 

I drop out of my tree just as the horn sounds, everyone crowding around. Natasha only has 3 splatters on her, Tony is absolutely covered, just like Clint, Bruce has a few shots, but I'm guessing people went easy on him. Steve is also pretty covered, causing me to brag about my only one hit. They all instantly fire at my back, making me jump. "you assholes." I say, scowling at them causing them all to laugh. "she deserves it, most of these are from her. she kept finding where I was hiding." Clint says with a scowl, his eyebrow quirking slightly in a way that was only meant for me to see. 

"so whats this secret that you know then, Clint?" Natasha asks, my back tensing slightly. I look at Clint and he looks into my eyes for a moment, before turning to Natasha. "oh I just know someone who went to school with her. she wore a lot of pink back then, apparently." he lies, his eyes still on me. I let out a breath, smiling slightly at him. "yeah, that was a time of my life I'd just like to forget." I say with a laugh, placing my gun down in the tray. Tony drops me off on the way back to the Avengers tower, all of them waving at me as I climb out of the car. "bye guys, thanks for today, it was really fun." I say with a grin, closing the door and watching them drive away. what a mess.


	3. Clint Fucking Barton

I stroll into work the next day, pulling on my lab coat and greeting my fellow scientists. "oh good, you're in. I was hoping you'd help me with some repairs, and Bruce says that if you refuse to use the crutches he is insisting he looks at your leg daily." Tony tells me, his eyes focused as he opens a box. I roll my eyes at that, pulling off my lab coat and hanging it up again. "ugh- fine I guess its better than crutches. I'd love to help you, I'll find you when I've dealt with Banner." I tell him, walking out the lab as I hear him mutter a soft. "yeah okay..". 

I hesitate for a moment, knocking gently on the door of the Avengers tower. "oh hey Diana, Bruce is waiting for you in his room." Natasha tells me when she opens the door with a grin, a pair of sports leggings and a baggy T-shirt hanging off her frame. "okay cool, thanks." I respond, gently shutting the door behind me and making my way up to Bruce's room. Annoyingly, Clint finds me on my way.

"Hey Diana, looking for some information to pass on?" He asks with a smirk, but I can see hesitation in his eyes. "Really Clint? You do know I'm not actually spying on you lot? I just want a fresh start." I mutter, rolling my eyes. "no I do not know that. All I know is that you have special training and you won't tell me where from." He bites back, this has clearly gotten on his nerves more than I expected. "yeah I can understand that." I sigh, running a hand over my face. "look, I really do just want a fresh start. I've done some- bad things in my past, and I want to change that. I don't expect your trust, but I hope that you will let me get on with my work." I whisper to him, looking down. "you do something I don't like, anything at all, and I tell them, and all the police departments. are we clear?" he bites back, stepping closer to basically pin me against the wall. "clear as rain. thanks for- uh- not telling them." I mumble, feeling slightly embarrassed. I've never really been one to like having something someone can hold over me - I guess that came with my training. "I want to help you, but you won't let me." he tells me, looking sad. "maybe theres a reason for that." I mutter, straightening my back. "the things I've done- Clint I don't think I deserve your help, so please, lets keep this between us, and forget about this helping me thing?" I plead, meeting his eyes again. "I won't forget about it. you'd better go see Bruce, he wants to check your leg." he tells me with a sigh, stepping away. "see you later." I mutter as I walk away, pushing Bruce's door open. 

"hey Bruce - thanks for doing this." I say as I walk in, quickly wiping off all traces of my previous encounter from my demeanour. "oh hiya. its no problem. here- Nat gave me these so I can get to your leg." he tells me, handing me a bundle of black cloth before turning around. "thanks" I respond as I slip my jeans off, watching as he busies himself with his equipment. "you're safe." I tell him, plopping down onto his bed in front of where his gear is laid out. "this shouldn't get infected - it is doing good." he tells me as he cleans the stitches, smiling at his work. "perfect. its a good thing I didn't get paint in it, Clint kept aiming at my legs." I say with a laugh, trying to strike up a conversation. "yeah, he's an asshole." he replies with a grin, grabbing his bandage out. "thanks Bruce, better go find Tony now." I tell him as I button up my jeans. I glance down at my watch, grimacing slightly at the time. it was already 1pm. "see you later!" I shout, slipping out of his room and heading down the hallway.

I lighten my footsteps as I make my way into the main area, noticing Clint and Natasha watching a TV show together and really not wanting that conversation right now. I make my way quickly to the door, wincing as it makes a noise when I open it. I whip around to see Clint and Natasha pulling out handguns and jumping up, them both simultaneously sighing when they notice me. "my god, you gave me a heart attack. your damn light footedness." Natasha laughs, sitting back down. "yeah. its almost like shes a spy!" Clint responds, winking at me. "pphhf. I'm too smart to be a spy. you get more money from being a hitwoman. see you later." I respond with a laugh, rolling my eyes at Clint's comment.

So can you take a look at Clint's bow? seems to be an electrical issue." Tony tells me after an hour of us working together on his suit. That was really fun, actually, he is mad clever to have designed that, let alone in a cave. "yeah sure, no problem." I mutter, picking up the sleek bow and glancing it over. "we're having a film night tonight if you wanna join." Tony offers, waving his arms about to make his suit fly back into storage. "yeah, sounds great, thanks." I reply, a little shocked at how quickly I've let myself open up to these people. one wrong move and they'll have me figured out - Clint proved that - but I find myself not feeling as scared as I should at that fact. "you're in for a treat - Bruce is cooking his chicken and black olive tomato pasta tonight." Tony tells me with a grin, packing his stuff away and pulling out a project about Steve's suit. "oh jeez, that does sound good." I mumble, focusing on the delicate wiring in front of me. 

"Do you have a present for me?" Clint asks 4 hours later, strolling into the lab where Tony and I are trying to repair some damage to Dum-E from when he fell over. "yep, on Diana's desk." Tony tells him, trying to hold the robot still. "can we turn him off to do this?" I ask, slightly breathless. "oh yeah, didn't think of that!" Tony laughs, flicking a switch and catching the robot as he goes limp. "you mean I just spent 20 minutes trying to tackle a robot for no reason?" I sigh, glaring at him. "mind testing that out? I don't know if everything is right." I ask Clint, walking up to him. he grins, pointing the bow towards the dartboard on the wall. he fires 3 arrows in a quick succession, all of them hitting dead centre and him switching arrows for each one. "works perfectly. thanks." he says, turning to grin at me. "please don't burn down my lab, birdbrain." Tony mutters, not looking up from his robot. we just laugh, Tony rolling his eyes. "come on, Bruce has his pasta on." Clint tells us, throwing the bow over his shoulder. "you joining us?" he asks, turning to me. "yep, Tony asked earlier." I tell him as I walk over to the mess of my workbench and beginning to pack up. 

"just in time, pasta is served!" Bruce announces as we walk in, holding his arms out with a grin. we all laugh, instantly crowding around the food. "smells great Bruce, thanks." I say with a smile as I grab my bowl, sinking down into the sofa. "its Nat's night to pick, right?" Clint asks as he sits next to me, the odd sound of agreement erupting from the room. "yep, and we're watching deadpool." she tells us with a grin as she places the DVD into the slot. "I am offended that we own a DVD player." Tony says as he strolls past, sitting down next to Clint. we all end up really enjoying the film, the pasta being heavenly too. about halfway through the film, my phone begins to buzz in my pocket. I pull it out, the screen displaying a blocked number. "sorry, I'll just be a minute." I mutter apologetically with a sigh, standing up to pace behind the sofa, a nervous habit when I'm talking to her. 

"Мисс Абдулов. у нас есть миссия для вас." ( _miss abdulov, we have a mission for you)_ They start, their voice turning my body cold. "Can it wait? I'm with some friends at the moment." I respond with a sigh, knowing that they wouldn't approve of my english but also knowing the Avengers would be suspicious if I left the room, especially Clint. "Ты говоришь по-английски? Почему?" _(you're speaking english? why?)_ "They're still in the room. what is it you need?" I ask, trying to keep my answers vague. "у нас есть шпион рядом с вашим местоположением, который предал нас." _(we have a spy near your location who has betrayed us.)_ "oh. " I respond after a moment, running a hand over my face. "принять их, я пошлю платье." _(take them out, i'll send the adress)_ they say before hanging up the phone. I sigh, placing it back in my pocket, this time ignoring it when I feel it buzz, knowing it'll be the adress.

"Sorry guys, but an old friend needs me. they're into some bad habits, and I need to go and help them out." I say quickly, slipping me shoes on. "I'll come and help if you need?" Natasha offers, standing up. "no I'll be fine. I'll see you guys soon." I tell them as I rush from the building, picking up into a run as I get onto the road. I make it back to my apartment quickly, grabbing out my suit and pulling the tight black spandex on. I head over to the mirror and begin lining my eyes with eyeliner when I hear a shuffle from behind me. "you can either leave or get my gun and knives ready." I tell Clint, quickly finishing my makeup. "I'm just here to- oh wow, that is a good look on you." he says, his eyes widening as I step out. I just roll my eyes at him, checking my bullets before shoving the gun in my thigh holster. "what is it?" he asks quietly, walking up to me. "someone betrayed the people who trained me." I reply simply, his face telling me he knows what that means. "why don't you just say no?" he asks, looking up at me. "they have people everywhere, I'd be dead in a second. They're strong, Clint, I can't just say no." I tell him, rolling my eyes. "I should probably get going. do me a favour and don't follow me?" I say, strapping my knives in place before walking out the door, shutting it behind me and taking off running.

I kick the door open as I arrive, the sight shocking me. "wait- Kira?" I ask, cocking my head at the girl I trained with. "DIANA!!" she shouts, running towards me. "heyheyhey, close enough." I warn her, holding my gun out. "what the hell did you do?" I ask her, desperation seeping into my voice. Kira was a good friend of mine in the red room, but we were clever. we kept it secret, so we - by some stroke of luck - never had to kill one another. keeping in touch has been hard, but we've always managed to get in contact a couple of times a month. "I guess I said no to a mission? I ignored their calls, changed my number, blocked theirs, moved house and didn't register in my name - I disappeared from them. I guess they found me, cause you're here." she tells me, rubbing the back of her neck. "And so you know, I have to do this." I tell her, hardening my jaw. I was trained for this, I can't die because I refuse to kill.

Suddenly she did something I would have forseen if I was not too far into my own thoughts - she kicks the gun out of my hands and runs for the door. I growl under my breath, grabbing my gun and running after her. I've always been faster than her - always been more agile, smaller frame. she has the upper hand in hand to hand combat, but give me a gun or a knife and I'd have her easily. I manage to corner her in the car park, my breath still steady as I hold my gun out to her again. she just lowers her head, nodding slightly. suddenly she's not Kira, my friend, she's the innocent woman - couldn't be over 20 - knelt on the hardwood flooring, a brown bag over her head. I am back there again, my memories creating a vivid image - every smell, every sense exactly perfect. I lock my arms, not allowing them to shake due to the image before me. _this is what we're trained to do._ the words from my graduation ring true in my head as I repeat my actions perfectly from that day, like a beautifully choreographed dance - I pull the trigger.

Her body crumbles as the bullet slices cleanly through her forehead, my body crumbling beneath me at the same time. I took the shot - I always would. that is who I am - always taking 1000 lives in the place of my own. I curl my legs to my chest, my mind barely noticing my surroundings as I delve deeper into my thoughts. A new - and not totally unwelcome - sense draws me from my memories, the bitter sting of what I'd done washing over me. I flinch away from the warm hand on my shoulder, before slowly leaning into it as it refuses to leave. "Diana?" Clint asks hesitantly, adding another hand to my other shoulder and guiding my body to rest on his shoulder. I let out a sob I didn't even realize was there, looking up at the man. still, no tears fall from my eyes, still refusing to look at the body of the one person who's known the whole me and still accepted me. "come on, lets get you home." he tells me quietly, wrapping his arm under my legs.

the whole walk to the tower was spend snuggled into Clint's chest, the weight of my actions weighing me down, making me too heavy to move. "Hey Nat, I need you to get everyone out of the main area." I hear Clint say, and I look up at him to see him talking into a phone. "she's fine, but shaken up. I need you to grab her some clothes, and I tell you whats happening tomorrow." He carefully shuts off his phone, looking sympathetically down at me. "she won't ask questions, but she's been through this. she can help, but not tonight." he tells me, running his fingers through my hair. 

we make it through the tower without any interruptions, quickly slipping into Clint's room, where a pile of neatly folded black clothes wait on the end of his bed. "I'll step out while you change." he tells me, placing me down on his bed. I nod, not trusting my voice and begin to strip off my clothes in a daze. I slip on Nat's shorts and T-shirt, before sitting back on his bed and quietly saying his name, grimacing as my voice comes out hoarse and rough. "you happy staying with me tonight? you don't seem to be in a state to be alone." he asks, sitting down next to me. "thanks, that would be great." I reply, looking down. he carefully helps me under the covers, my mind still elsewhere. it is immediately brought back by the feel of his arm snaking over my shoulders, pulling me close against his chest. "Sleep Diana, I'll see you tomorrow." he whispers as my mind drifts away, letting me fall into a restless sleep.

-

I gently open my eyes, scrunching my eyebrows at the unfamiliar location. I quickly notice its Clint's room - the arrows scattered around the place giving it away. Memories of the night before start to filter back as I notice the sleeping man beside me, his arm still loosely hanging over my waist. "oh hey.." he mutters, his arm tightening before he opens his eyes, smiling at me. "how are we doing?" he asks quietly, his smile faltering. "I- I kinda thought it was a dream. I wish it was..." I mumble, squeezing my eyes shut. "how much did you see?" I ask after a moment, meeting his eyes. "I was waiting in the carpark, so basically everything while you were out there. what happened?" he asks softly, placing a hand on my cheek as tears threaten to spill over. "She- she was my friend, but she betrayed who trained us. we trained together, we were very close, but I got told to kill her. I shoul- shouldn't have found it hard but- she became this different memory, and it played out the same and I just lost it." I tell him, my voice speeding up. "I'm so sorry." he mutters, holding me close. "you're going to tell Natasha." I say, another memory filling my mind as my eyes snap to his. "I don't know how to help. she's been through this before, and doesn't ask too many questions. I think its a good idea, but only if you agree." he tells me, meeting my eyes hesitantly. "I don't trust myself. I think she needs to know. do you mind telling her but letting me be there?" I ask, it seeming the easiest way. "of course, don't worry about it either - she won't judge you." he tells me, smiling. "thank you." I basically whisper, a soft knock interrupting us. 

Clint stands to answer the door, not letting it open wide enough to reveal me, which I'm thankful for. "oh hey Nat." he greets her, his voice quiet. "hi, thought Diana might need some clothes." she tells him, handing him another pile. "oh perfect, thanks. come on in - we need to talk." he says, opening the door to let her in. she is instantly at my side, a hand on my thigh. "oh god, are you okay?" she asks, worry in her eyes. "always am, but its time we bring you in on this. Mind if I shower first?" I ask Clint, trying to force out a smile which just ends up being a grimace. "yeah, no problem." he says, motioning to his en suite. I grab the pile of clothes, slipping into the room and locking the door.

I sigh as I step under the stream of warm water, it relaxing my muscles. images still flash before my eyes - Kira's body, the innocent's body, the bright lights from my graduation, the bodies of all the teammates I've killed. I squeeze my eyes shut, shutting off the water and quickly drying myself off, slipping into the leggings and red hoodie. "hiya." I mumble as I step back in, joining Clint on the bed, Natasha staying seated at Clint's desk. 

"okay so I have no clue what Diana is, but she's trained in combat, and knows a hell of a lot of Russian." Clint says, placing a hand on mine before continuing. "I caught her talking on the phone to someone, they were arguing maybe, it didn't sound good. and then at paintball she had these mad skills - she is epic with a gun. I was talking to her about it - she still won't tell me where she trained, just that she wants a fresh start. I keep picking up on things that only assassins can do - things from you, and them last night happened." he stops to take a breath, meeting Natasha's eyes. "yeah you seem worried - both of you. I basically knew by them that there was something more here." she offers, looking down slightly. 

"so I follow her to her apartment to find her in a really tight spandex suit, strapping guns and knives to her legs. we have a small conversation before I follow her to wherever her hit is. I wait in the carpark and its not long before this girl - obviously another assassin - runs out, Diana catching up fast. They talk for a while - they were friends, they trained together. Diana was so sad that she had to do it, and before long the girl had a bullet between her eyes, and Diana is falling to the ground, her eyes vacant, her body tense." I wince a little at that last part, dropping my gaze to my now very interesting hands. "they would have killed me if I hadn't killed her - I simply can't say no to them, but I wish I had." I say quietly, my voice still as rough as before. "y'know I had to kill my friends once - in the red room we were always made to fight to the death with the people they noticed us getting close to. its the worst feeling, and it haunts you. I'm so sorry you're going through that." Natasha says, wrapping an arm over my shoulders. "it just reminds me of all the innocent people I've killed - its mental. I- to be honest I'm not to sure why we brought you in on this." I say with a chuckle, and I notice my usual defence mechanism. the whole 'I'm fine and need no one' game. 

"because we are going to- " Clint gets cut off by my phone ringing, all our heads snapping to the source of the sound. I sigh, dragging myself to my feet and answering the phone. "это делается?" _(is it done?)_ "Да." _(yes)_ I respond, drawing in a breath. "Хорошо. какие-либо проблемы?" _(good. any problems?)_ "она пыталась бежать, но я всегда был быстрее." _(she tried to run but I was always faster)_ "мы хорошо тебя обучили. Вы бы выжить в то время как борьба даже Наталья." _(we trained you well. you would survive a while against even Natalia.)_ she says with a chuckle. In the red room we all knew her as Natalia, but Natasha Romanoff is well known to be the best thing to have ever come out of that place. the perfect assassin. "Спасибо. это все?" _(thank you. is that all?)_ I ask trying to bring the conversation to an end. "ваши ответы были короткими. кто-то есть?" _(your answers have been short. someone is there?)_ "Да. Наталья." _(yes. Natalia.)_ I say without thinking, my eyes going wide when I remember that she doesn't know who trained me yet. shit. "это опасно." _(that is dangerous.)_ "она знает меня только как ученого." _(she only knows me to be a scientist.)_ "Вам лучше не узнать." _(you better not get found out)_ she tells me, hanging up the phone.

I stumble back slightly, loosing my footing. A pair of strong arms grab me, leading me to the warm bed where I flomp down beneath Clint and Natasha. "so who's Natalia?" she asks, turning to me. "a girl from the place I trained. we trained together for some of it actually - not that she'd remember of course. she is the best thing to come out of that place." I tell her, smiling. "what place?" she asks, quirking an eyebrow. I just smile, shaking my head at her. "okay - lets try this. why does Natalia only know you as a scientist?" she asks, leaning back against the wall. "Not Natalia. you actually. they think that me being near you is a bad idea - they think I'll get found out, which I guess I have. you're well known as the best assassin there, so they're very apprehensive." I say with a laugh. If only you knew. I know I'm on thin ice right about now, I'm literally using her real name to refer to her, but I have light footing.

Natasha just laughs at my comment, rolling her eyes. "good, I could take them down." she laughs, grinning. I look over at Clint who has been very silent recently, only to see him with a distant look in his eye. "you know?" I ask quietly, dread clear in my voice. "how could I not? You literally just told us." he basically whispers, finally meeting my eyes. "so you know why I couldn't tell you." I tell him, looking down. "no. I was expecting way worse - we can live with this." He smiles, lifting my chin so my eyes meet his, showing me that he truly means it. "so what is going on?" Natasha asks from behind us, clearly confused. "I have worked out where she trained." He tells her, his eyes not leaving mine. "oh." Natasha says, returning to the wall. "tell her. she'll figure it out anyway." I tell him, waving my hand. a slightly sick feeling comes over me as I realize theres no going back now, but maybe thats not a bad thing. I already know I'm good at disappearing. 

"the same place as you." he says simply, Natasha's eyes instantly filling with sadness. "no.. the quiet girl in the corner. you graduated with me." she says with a slight chuckle, nodding her head. "no wonder Kira brought back bad memories." she says, her face falling. "you remember me? I didn't think anyone did." I laugh, remembering how I was back then. I wasn't exactly sociable. "of course. you were known as the girl with it all! you were mad clever then you beat everyone they put against you in seconds." she laughs, shaking her head slightly. "we can fix this." she says, slightly quieter. "come on, lets go get coffee." Clint suggests, standing up before taking my hands to pull me up after him. 

"thank you for letting me stay last night - well thank you for the whole of last night really." I say to Clint, forcing out a laugh. "I told you I'd help you, and I'm going to stand by that." he says with a smile, us entering the kitchen. "Clint Barton do you have a girl round?" Tony asks, faking a gasp. "I'm not just for Clint, sweetcheeks." I say in a fake accent, winking at him as I go past. "ooo Nat mind grabbing me a cup?" He asks to Natasha, her standing at the counter and pouring out 3 mugs of coffee. "ugh- fine." she says, adding a fourth. "so why are you here?" he asks curiously, side eyeing me. "because things got bad with my friend, and then it was really late. Clint found me and brought me here because it was closer." I lie effortlessly, a small grin falling onto Natasha's face. "oh? are they okay?" he asks, looking up at me. "yeah, I slipped them some sleeping pills." I tell him with a smile, taking a sip of my coffee. "oh good idea." he tells me, smiling. I feel my face pale as my phone buzzes against my thigh, the number a blocked number. 

I pull my phone out, standing up to do my usual pacing. "Привет?" _(hello?)_ "Возможно, вы не оставили отпечатков на месте преступления, но вы оставили гребаное тело?" _(you may have left no prints at the scene, but you left the fucking body?)_ they shout down the phone, making me wince. "Прости, я не знаю, о чем я думала." _(I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking)_ "а вам лучше очистить это, или кто-то будет убирать вас." _(well you better clean this up, or someone will clean you up.)_ she threatens, hanging up the phone. I let out a shaky breath, running a hand through my hair. "fuck." I mutter under my breath, making my way back towards my coffee.

"who was that?" Tony asks, looking at me in confusion. "my Russian grandparents. they're upset I haven't visited recently, so I'm going to go and book a ticket now." I tell him, downing the rest of my coffee and washing the mug up. "I'll come and help." Natasha says, copying my actions. "I don't think it'd be a good idea to bring Natasha Romanoff into my house. they're very traditional." I laugh, walking back to Clint's room and grabbing my suit. "I'll bring the clothes back later." I tell her, before slipping out of the door.


	4. what else am I to do?

I know how I need to clear this one up - kill any police at the scene and fry their systems. It won't be easy, but I've done harder. The only problem is Clint and Natasha. I make it back to my apartment quickly, slipping into my suit and grabbing my weapons. I turn to look at my bed, knowing that one of them would be there. "so whats the mission?" Natasha asks me, quirking an eyebrow. "I was an idiot and left the body there." I tell her as I reload my gun. "ah." she responds, knowing what that means. "let me guess - take out the police and fry the systems?" Clint asks, swinging in through the window. "yep. in and out, don't get seen." I mutter under my breath, double checking I have all my gear. "how about this - I can deal with frying the systems, you two knock out the guards - don't kill any unless needed please. we get the body out of there, leaving no evidence it ever existed." Clint suggests, leaning against the wall. "they won't be happy if I leave people alive." I tell him, raising my eyebrows apprehensively. "I really don't care what makes them happy, its your mission, we do it your way." Natasha tells me, anger in her eyes. I always forget - even though she was seen as a hero there, she suffered as much as me. probably more, she really struggles with killing. 

"I can't help but notice the use of 'we'. this needs to be me, I can't ask for your help." I tell them, rolling my eyes. "then don't ask." she tells me, stripping off her hoodie to reveal her gear. Clint does the same, pulling on his glove. "lets go." he tells me, opening my door. I just shake my head with a smile, motioning to the window. "I am not walking out of here in full gear with 2 avengers." I tell them, shutting the door again. "I've seen you take the door before!" Clint shouts, laughing. "There is more than one window in this building Clint." I laugh, letting my body fall backwards out of the window. I catch myself on a first floor window, before dropping effortlessly onto my feet and waiting for the others to follow. 

"here- lucky I carry spares just in case I have a team mission." I grin, handing Clint and Nat the in ear transmitters I designed myself. "coms. you made these?" Clint asks, slipping one into his ear. I nod lightly, turning mine on. he raises his eyebrows, before following my actions to ensure we're all on the same channel. "Nat and I will go from either side, you find somewhere high." I say quietly into the coms, slipping across the street. "roger that." He responds, making me chuckle. "systems are fried, you're in." Clint tells us after a moment, me quickly grabbing the closest officer and going to snap his next out of instinct, then remembering I'm currently playing the good guy. I sigh, knocking him out before grabbing the next guy. "I have to say, not being able to kill people that are trying to kill you is really annoying." I mutter, dodging the bullets flying at me. "they don't want to kill you, they're police. use that." Nat tells me, knocking out 2 guards. I crouch on top of a cabinet, flipping off of it and landing on a guys back, his head slamming into the concrete as my leg flies at another guys head, and I'm back in the air again, flipping over another 2 people. 

"I'm glad I never got pit against you, would have been a really close fight." Natasha laughs, making me grimace slightly. "you'd have me killed in a second." I tell her, continuing to knock guys out. I finally make it to Nat, all the guards seeming to be knocked out. I grin at her, the sound of footsteps making my face fall. I look up to see SWAT teams surrounding us, shields held high. "SURRENDER YOUR WEAPONS AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD." Someone shouts, and I look up to see 4 helicopters circling over us. We could get out of here, but it might be better for us to wait this one out. out of the corner of my eye I see Clint, worry on his face. "Get the body and get out of here." I mutter into my coms, sighing. "Are you-" "we'll be fine, go Clint." Natasha says, nodding to him. he runs off, the police luckily not having noticed him. I let an officer grab my wrists roughly, snapping handcuffs around them. I get forced into the back of a heavily armoured truck, away from Nat.

half an our later we pull up outside the high security prison, and I'm getting forced out of the truck. "I thought you're meant to take us to the police station." I laugh, smirking slightly. "after what you did back there, you're classed as a big threat, so its straight to prison for your questioning." the officer tells me, shoving me along. The door slams shut to my cell, the travel here impossible to remember, the winding corridors looking identical. I look up to see Nat being shoved into an identical one directly opposite mine, her eyes meeting mine instantly. I just sit on the bed, watching as the guards disappear. 

"are you hurt?" she asks after a moment, guilt in her eyes. "I'm fine. I'm sorry I dragged you into this." I tell her, realizing that I'm the only reason she's here. "its not your fault. If I'd let you go alone you would have been in and out, but I had to make things difficult." she tells me, smiling lightly. "you stopped me from killing a dozen men. I'm looking for a fresh start, and you're helping me get it." I tell her, leaning back against the frigid wall. 

"so whats your name, honey? your photo is nowhere." the officer tells me after strapping me to the metal table, one wall very obviously made of one way glass. "now why would I tell you that?" I ask, smiling up at him. "because we'll go easy on you if you comply." he tells me, sitting down. "I don't think I believe you, but I've been through worse anyways." I shrug, still smiling. "okay then, lets try this. what were you doing with one of the Avengers?" he asks, leaning forward. "I was attacked by security men for no reason, I don't know why she was there." I say innocently, grinning. "why were you even nearby this crime scene?" he asks, sighing. "I am a scientist, I was doing science." I respond vaguely, raising my eyebrows. 

~

"Miss Romanoff, pack your things." A guard says, opening her cell door. "what changed?" she asks, standing up. "you are an Avenger, Tony Stark proved you innocent. lets go." "what about the other girl?" she asks, looking at me. "we don't know who she is so Tony Stark can't bail her out just yet." he says, grinning at me. I just smile back, leaning forward to place my elbows on my knees. "Diana." A strange voice says into my earpiece. "yes? who is this?" I ask, my brow furrowing. I glance at the camera, it doesn't have a microphone. I lay down to hide my lips to make sure they can't read them. "oh my god, sorry I didn't know if you still had it in or not." Clint says, sighing. "I didn't use metal in it so the detectors didn't pick it up." I tell him, grinning. "Tony can't prove you innocent because your face doesn't exist anywhere, I'm so sorry." Clint says, sadness in his voice. "Its fine, I brought this on myself. how is Nat? is she back yet?" I ask. "yeah she's here. Tony has reverse engineered your earpiece so he'll be able to set it up so we can all talk to you soon." he tells me as my muscles relax into the hard bed. "oh thats cool, it'll be nice to talk to some people. its really fucking boring here." I laugh, letting my eyes slip shut. "you know they're asking what happened. I don't see a way out of this one." Clint tells me after a moment, and I nod. "yeah, do you mind telling them? it'll be easier coming from you." I say quietly, running a hand through my hair. "yeah I'll tell them tonight. you get some sleep, they aren't going to go easy on you. I'll talk to you tomorrow." he tells me, sounding a little worried. "I've been through worse so don't worry about me. Night, Clint." I say, smiling lightly even though he can't see me. "yeah, goodnight Diana." 

~

"WAKEY WAKEY MISTERY GIRL" A voice enters my dream, the sharp sound of them wacking their baton against the bars of my cell making my flinch. "Breakfast. eat." He says, slipping a plate of mush through a slot in my cell wall. I just roll my eyes, taking the tray and taking a bite, watching him walk away. "Diana?" I hear Clint's voice ask and I smile. I turn away from the camera before responding, still forcing the gross mush down my throat. "Hey Birdie. hows it going over there?" I ask, my voice light. "good, everyone else is here, Tony sorted out the thingy." He tells me and I sigh. "do they- uh-" I stutter, hoping he understands. "yeah, I've told them." he responds sadly, and my face falls. "thanks. I'm sorry for not telling you all." I say quietly, looking at the ground. "I- I hate that I can't hug you right now, you went through all that stuff and now you're over there..." Steve rambles, trailing off. Steve is weirdly caring, he is kind of like my big brother. he looks out for me, watches my back. I'm honestly shocked at how quickly we've become a family, and I can't really pinpoint when it happened. "no no, I get first dibs on the hugs. although I am kinda pissed you didn't tell me. did you think we'd disapprove or something?" Tony asks, his voice harsh. "yes, obviously. I'm not Natasha - I didn't hesitate at my graduation, I have killed my friends, killed innocents with no second though." I say down the line. I hear a chorus of sighs over the line, followed by silence. "you can't be blamed for the way you were trained- the way you were raised." Bruce tells me quietly. "If I don't take the blame for who I am, who will?" I ask rhetorically, sighing and placing my tray roughly on my floor. 

"we don't judge you on your worst mistakes, we just care that you want to change, so we are going to help you." Clint tells me, his voice soft. "yeah, except for the fact that I'm now going to rot in prison." I laugh, shaking my head. "thats- thats not exactly true. You'll be leaving tonight. we can get you out of the building, but we can't be near the building. you'll have to come to us." Tony tells me, a grin in his voice. "Don't get yourselves cells in here just trying to get me out." I say, rolling my eyes. "we won't." he says as my door creaks open. "we're taking another crack at you. come on." The guard tells me, motioning for me to follow. I just follow silently, rubbing the back of my neck.

~

Today felt very long. I didn't break under their questioning, but its clear they're not giving up anytime soon. Its maybe 3am when Clint's voice rings through my head, pulling me from the light sleep I had fell into. "you ready?" he asks, a grin in his voice. "I'll see you soon, birdman." I respond with a grin, standing up and backing all the way against the opposite wall. A few seconds later a huge hole blows through my wall, a grin falling onto my lips. "thank you." I say, running and leaping from the hole. 

the floor was further than I anticipated. 

on my way down I estimated I was on about the 4th floor up, this is going to hurt. I angle myself so I'll fall flat, ensuring nothing too bad happens, and I'm suddenly slamming into the grass. "ow." I mutter, wriggling my fingers. "don't tell me you just went for it?" Clint asks, laughing. "of course I did, I didn't know I was that high up." I mutter, pulling myself upright. My chest stings as I breathe, and I identify a total of 3 broken ribs. "oo yeah thats going to ache tomorrow.." I laugh, limping slightly away from the building. my whole body burns with every movement, and I can already tell where is going to be bruised. I slowly break out into a run, stripping off down to my vest and pants. I avoid all cameras as I approach the tower, slowly walking in. Clint is waiting for me in the lobby, his face breaking out into a grin. "My whole body hurts." I groan, grinning at him. He just laughs, pulling me in for a hug. "you are crazy, you know that?" he laughs, pulling away. "lets go find the others. Nat is dropping by your place to pack up some stuff, you'll be staying here until the police calm down." he tells me as we walk up the stairs. "cool, thank you." I say with a smile. 

"you, are in big trouble Miss Abdulov." Tony laughs as I walk in. he wraps me in a tight hug, his arc reactor cold against my chest. "still can't see you in a fight." he laughs, pulling away. "shes actually really good - the black spandex is a good look on you too." Natasha says, walking in. "Nat, oh my god, I'm so sorry I got you arrested." I say, pulling her in for a hug. "its no problem, Its happened before, it'll happen again." she laughs as the others join. A pair of strong arms wrap around my waist, lifting me up and spinning me around before placing me back down. "who'dve guessed that you are a spy. you're great at undercover work." Steve laughs, grinning. "I did actually, pretty quickly too." CLint says, smirking. "also I'm not really a spy, I was never here to spy on you." I say, rolling my eyes. "need stitching up again?" Bruce asks, walking up to me. "yes please, I jumped out a 4 storey building and broke a few ribs." I laugh, shrugging my shoulders. 

"okay, I'll get dinner on, Diana go change and get stitched up." Clint offers, smiling. Natasha hands me my bag and I quickly make my way to the spare room, slipping on a sports bra and baggy Tshirt over a pair of leggings. "Hey Brucie." I say as I walk in, smiling at him. "I'm going to need to get to your chest." he warns me, motioning to my shirt. I smile, pulling it off and sitting down on his bed. "yeah you are going to be one big bruise tomorrow." he laughs, pointing at the new bruises scattered over my torso. "yeah it was probably a bad idea, but it got the job done." I laugh, his fingers prodding at my ribs. "yeah I count 3 broken. let me wrap you up." he tells me, grabbing his bandages. "I feel like I should have so many questions, but I really don't." he tells me after a moment. "yeah I get that. its a bit of an odd situation. I'll answer anything you want to know though, but don't worry if you have no questions. I'm still me." I tell him, smiling. "you're all done." he tells me, patting my thigh and handing me my shirt. I pull it over my head, both of us heading out. 

"how's the walking bruise doing?" Clint asks as we walk in. "3 broken ribs, so not too bad." I respond with a smile, walking over to where he's stirring a pot. "Chorizo risotto." he tells me, prodding at the rice. "smells great. so whats the plan with the new escapee living in the Avengers Tower?" I ask, turning to Tony. "well its going to be interesting, I'll tell you that much. the good thing is that they only got one photo of you and it isn't face on, so they don't have a full map of your bone structure." Tony tells me, sitting down at the table and leaning on his elbows. "I'm sorry to say we're going to need to give you a hear cut and dye, and then you'll be staying inside for a while." he tells me, pulling his glasses off to place his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "Its not the best plan ever but we didn't plan too far ahead when we blew a hole in the side of the prison, so we're going to have to hope it works." he tell me, smiling softly. I nod slowly, joining him at the table. "thank you for busting me out by the way, the food in there is shit." I laugh, wincing as it makes my ribs hurt. "reminded me of that protein shit they gave us in training." Natasha laughs, rolling her eyes. "the muscle building chemical soup? yeah but minus the protein." I add, smiling at her. "bon Appetit." Clint says with a smirk as he places bowls of risotto down in front of everyone. 

After eating we all went our own separate ways, and I found myself working in my room. suddenly a deafening alarm rings through the building, JARVIS's smooth voice booming out over the top of it. I yank my door open, grabbing Clint's arm as he runs past. "hey, whats happening?" I ask, watching the organised mayhem going on. "some gang causing trouble. the police got told negative on moving in because they're using human shields, but we can deal with that." he tells me, smiling slightly and rushing into his room. I make my way quickly to Tony's room, knowing he's sort of in charge and is the least likely to be getting changed. I walk in to him zipping up his undersuit, suddenly very glad I stopped to talk to Clint. "Tony. heard you're getting called out. need any help?" I ask, leaning against the door frame. "No its more important you stay inside." he tells me, waving his arms around. "you may want to get out of the doorway." he tells me casually, peices of his armour flying at my head. I duck, rolling out of the way and sit in his chair. "thanks for the heads up." I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "I could wear a face cover." I suggest, raising my eyebrows. "please just stay here, we can deal with it." he tells me, the suit forming around him. "she could be really useful. might not be a bad idea to include her." Nat says as she walks past, already changed. I turn back to Tony, throwing him a smile. 

"stay on coms, If we need you we'll call you." he says with a sigh, walking out the door. "better go get changed then." I say to Nat, leaving the room. "I'll help, we can do something quickly with your hair." she offers, following close behind me. She pulls out a pair of scissors, forcing me down into a chair. "stay still." she says, the grin clear in her voice. "shouldn't you be heading out?" I ask her, raising an eyebrow. "I told them I'll meet them there." she tells me, humming lightly as she works on my hair. "okay, you're all done." she tells me, holding a mirror up. my wavy brown hair is now shoulder length, the curls more defined by there being less weight, it cut shorter at the sides of my head. "looks great Nat, thanks." I say, smiling at the girl. "no problem. dye your hair too, I put some black and red hair dye in your bathroom." she tells me, rushing out of the room. 

"J, link me to their coms." I say as I wander into the bathroom, picking up the boxes. "-my way now." Nat says as the speakers connect to the coms system. "mute my mic please." I ask, reading through the instructions to find the length of time each needs. I work the paste into my hair, leaving it for 10 minutes before hopping into the shower, the water a mix of red and black. "whats our plan of attack?" Clint asks, them only just having finished assessing the scene. "Get somewhere high, if you get a clear shot take them out, but only when we've got the bodies out of the way. everyone else, surround them." Steve orders, his voice deeper than usual. I get out of the shower, drying my hair and slipping on my underwear. I grin at my reflection in the mirror - my hair starting black and fading into red. I quickly pull on my stretchy leather looking trousers and a tight black t-shirt, throwing my leather jacket on over the top. I pull on my boots, slipping my earpiece into my ear and doing some makeup - I managed to make my face look quite different, before running towards the battlegrounds. when I get there I identify all the cameras so I can avoid looking at them.

I hop up into a tree, leaning back against the trunk. "hey guys, whats going on?" I ask casually, smiling. "wait - you came didn't you." Steve sighs, grunting as he rolls behind a car. "hey, you said you'd call me in, I thought it might be easier if I'm nearby." I say with a grin, checking I've got enough ammo. "you are a piece of work." Tony sighs, making me laugh. "you've only just figured that out?" I ask, grinning. "hey, get your own tree!" I say as I climb higher, finding Clint perched on a branch. "I was here first, you get your own tree." he says back, raising his eyebrows. "fine, i'll let you stay." I laugh, sitting next to him. "so what are we doing?" I ask, subtly turning my microphone off. "waiting mainly. nothing I can do, if I take someone out they'll shoot a prisoner." he tells me, rolling his eyes. I notice him doing the same with his microphone, making me smile lightly. "oh fun." I say, scooting back so I'm leaning against the tree again, us having to be pressed against each other to be able to fit.

"I like the hair, looks really good on you." He says after a moment, making me chuckle. "thanks. it helps with hiding from cameras." I tell him, checking I have all my gear. he just nods, smiling slightly. "okay no offense to the amazing company, but this tree is uncomfortable. I'm going." I say, falling out of the tree. I run and duck behind a car, checking where all the targets are. I slip along the side of the building, finding Natasha with her back against the wall. "hey Nat." I greet her quietly, standing opposite her. "I've got a plan." I say with a smirk, looking at the guys without innocents. I pick out the ones that aren't being watched by someone else, and quickly make my way towards him. "Hey, no killing." Natasha tells me, smirking. "you don't let me have any fun." I mutter, running and hopping on his back, quickly knocking him out without getting noticed. 

I look up to see Natasha watching me, before quickly following suit. we silently take out the perimeter guards, leaving them all in a bathroom in a nearby building, quickly locking and barricading the door in case they wake. "so whats our play here then?" I ask, placing my hands on my hips and watching the group of gangsters, them all keeping hostages nearby so they can grab them at a moments notice. 

"we sneak up on them?" I ask, scrunching my eyebrows. "no too risky, they are all holding knives and theres 7 of them." Tony tells me, landing quietly by my side. "not for me." I say, smirking. "too risky." Steve responds, making me laugh. "ah fine. I'd probably be hindered by the fact that I can't kill them anyways." I shrug, grinning at Tony. "TOny and Clint can you take them out?" Nat asks quietly. "no thats too risky too, its to close a call with the hostages." Tony responds, sighing in frustration. they all argue for the next 15 minutes, me just standing and watching it unfold.

"fuck this, its taking too long." I mutter into my muted mic, sneaking quickly towards the group. I quickly knock out the first, the second standing up and making it easy to knock his legs out from beneath him, making him slam his head into the metal table as I duck a bullet from the third, quickly ramming his gun up into his face. the next 2 manage to get hold of me, another one coming up and punching me hard in the stomach. "you'll regret that one." I mutter as I cough, quickly flipping backwards, breaking the arms of the people holding me and sending a kick into the nose of the guy who punched me. "sorry not sorry." I shrug as I knock the two with the broken arms out. 

"done." I say with a bow, grinning. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6- oh fuck." I say, my skipping coming to a halt when I realize one escaped. "Clint, come in." I say into the coms, panic washing over me. "yep, whats up?" he replies, a slight shake in his voice which is barely undetectable. "theres a bit of interference in the coms. I'll take a look when we get back." I say casually, quickly making my way to Clint's tree. I get to the rooftop of a nearby building, quickly spotting a guy with a knife to his throat. "I was meant to take you as a hostage, but who cares. you'll just escape." he says loudly, a sickly grin on his face as blood begins to trickle from his throat. we're out of time. I quickly pull out my gun with shaking hands, taking a deep breath as I aim, focusing on making my shot steady. within a second of having my gun out theres a bullet flying towards the two men, it easily embedding itself into the criminals skull. I sigh, sitting back onto my heels with a sigh. 

"what the fuck was that?" Tony asks, flying upwards and catching my eye. "I'm sorry but we were out of time." I say simply, standing and rushing downstairs. "theres always a choice." Steve says, placing his hand on my chest as I try and get out of the door. "I wasn't going to risk Clint dying." I spit. I may have killed someone, but I just saved a way better man doing it. Steve just sighs, letting me go. I walk out of the door, instantly feeling guilty for snapping at Steve. 

"hey Steve? I'm sorry, you're right. I should have talked to you guys before." I mutter, before taking off running towards the Avengers Tower. I make it back into my room, pulling my jacket off and throwing my knives angrily down onto my bed. "WHY AM I SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT?" I shout, punching the wall hard. I talk of change, of stopping these habits, then kill without a second of thought.

"its fine, you did what you saw right." Natasha says quitly entering my room. "Natasha I talk of wanting change then go and do that? not feeling nearly as guilty as I should too. I actually felt more guilty for snapping at Steve than I did for killing that man. I'm just fooling myself by thinking I can change." I spit angrily at her, pacing around my room. "I changed. You can too." she tells me quietly, leaning against my wall. "you were never like that, you took months to graduate! I killed and didn't lose a second of thought over it, I never have. we aren't the same Natasha." I tell her, running a hand through my hair. "Is he okay?" I ask slightly quieter, not meeting her eyes. "a bit shaken up, but not noticably. it would have been a lot worse if you hadn't acted." she tells me calmly, smiling gently. "pff, yeah, someone could have ended up dead!" I say with mock fear, before rolling my eyes. 

"are you okay?" Tony asks, storming into my room. "yes, I'm much better than the other guy at least." I laugh bitterly, placing my knives back into their place. "you just left, we were worried." he says, grabbing my shoulders to hold me still. "whats wrong?" he asks, motioning to the dent in his wall. "sorry about the dent." I say, grimacing. "I stand by what I did, in all honestly there was no way I was going to wait for Cap to make his speech, I don't work like that." I tell him, straightening my back slightly. 

"look, we work as a team here. we're giving you a big opportunity, letting you be here, even letting you go to that fight. you have to decide if this is the life you want, or if you want to just go back to doing paid hits." he tells me, sighing and softening his tone. I just look down, already knowing my answer. "so which one?" he asks, slightly louder. "It isn't about what I want, in all reality, its about what I can do." I tell him, knowing being cryptic will get on his nerves but not really caring. "you are amazingly skilled and you know it, try again." He scoffs, rolling his eyes. "not my fighting skills, its if I can change that much." I tell him, biting the insides of my cheek and looking away. "we will help, and you don't have to change. think about it." he tells me, squeezing my shoulders once more before leaving, Natasha following him out. "hey, go visit Clint. Bruce'll want to check out that hand too." she tells me as she leaves causing me to roll my eyes. 

"hey Clint, how's it going?" I ask, strolling into the medbay and finding him sat up on a hospital bed. "I'm fine, my throat is just a little sore. how are you?" he asks, smiling. "better than my wall. everyone is majorly pissed at me for what I pulled back there, but I'm still glad I did it, if it saved you." I say, being a little defensive. "I'm very thankful that you did. no one really cares about killing bad people, we have all done it. we do it a lot more than you'd think in this job, sometimes when people are firing at you, your only option is to fire back." he tells me softly, patting the place on his bed next to him and scooting over. "don't worry yourself too much. you're here aren't you? you are making a change, and that means you don't have to become someone you're not to be here, it means you're already that person." he tells me, placing an arm around my shoulders as I bite down hard onto my cheek, fighting back tears. "I can tell you're fighting back tears, you were doing that tons that night." he laughs softly, squeezing me close. "Ah I'm sorry Clint, you lot bring out the emotional side in me." I laugh, meeting his eyes as the thick feeling in my throat fades slightly. "well then why fight it? we're friends, you don't need to do that." he tells me sighing. 

"Natasha said you hurt you hand?" Bruce asks walking in, eyeing up Clint's arm with a knowing smile. I sigh at that, rolling my eyes. If people want to think that this is a thing then fine, they're just idiots to not have noticed that we're just friends. its not like I could be like that with anyone, anyways. "what a little snitch. my hand is fine though, I'm all good." I tell him, peeling myself away from Clint so he can dress his neck, which has just stopped bleeding. I absentmindedly intwine my hands behind my back, my knuckles aching at the movement. I watch idly as he dresses Clint's cut, suddenly realizing that I've been here longer than I should have been. 

"hey I'm just going to go find Steve." I mutter, looking down. "not a chance, you're staying." Bruce tells me, not looking up. I raise my eyebrow at him, before sinking down into a plastic chair. "there, you're all good. be careful about getting it wet for the next month - its quite deep." Bruce tells him, pulling his gloves off. "how the fuck am I meant to wash my hair?" he whines. "I don't know, get someone to help." Bruce tells him with a grin, walking over to me. 

"hand." he tells me, holding his hand out to me. "is fine." I continue his sentence for him, smirking. "hey Diana, come back, I'm cold." Clint complains, making me laugh. I wander over and plonk down next to him, wrapping my arm around his waist. "you're weird, also you're a little bitch for trying to trick me." I say, pushing my hand behind my back, it all clearly being a ruse to get my hand exposed. "what how???" he asks, rolling his eyes. I laugh at that, grinning. "just let him look at it, you know he'll never stop if you don't." he tells me, trying to look intimidating. "you're more fun when you're on my side, you know that?" I say, glaring at him as I pass my hand to Bruce. "I know, I love you too." He mutters, smiling. I just roll my eyes, watching as Bruce cleans my knuckles and wraps them up. I sigh as I hold up my hand, swaddled in white cloth. "thanks Bruce." I mutter, placing it down at my side. 


End file.
